The Beginning of Life Without Dad.

What an odd, cruel, poetic, broken, and beautiful thing life is.
Yesterday was a year after Floyd was baptized.
Yesterday was the day after Char was baptized.

Dad was at Floyd’s baptism, but he almost wasn’t. He and his wife were supposed to leave for a trip and she was not wanting to wait.
I am so so so thankful he was there. That was one of the MOST important days of our lives, of Floyd’s life, and now it means 1000x more.
I will NEVER forget ALL the feelings surrounding that day.
My pastor wasn’t going to be there, he was out of town. But Trey’s parents would be there. So we wanted to do it while Floyd’s whole family could be there. It was still heartbreaking to not have our pastor and friend do the baptism, because he would be the one in Floyd’s life for years to come. He was going to help shepherd our kid. Not the guy from Dallas coming in to do the sacraments who would probably never see Floyd again in his life.
Then I had no idea if Dad would be making it. Not even the day of.

But then Trey called and told me the sweetest and most perfect Irish man, complete with an Irish accent and love for whiskey, would be baptizing Floyd.
“I met John and you’re going to love him! He’s an Irish guy that is so sweet and wonderful.” He explained.
Pretty sure I cried from relief!

Still no idea if Dad was coming.

When we got to the front of the church, I looked out to see Dad just smiling so big at us. I did a small wave to him and he waved back.
Then I just couldn’t stop the tears. I cried the entire baptism.
I was so full of relief that Dad was there AND John said all of the MOST perfect and wonderful things. His baptism ceremony thing was by and large the best one we have ever witnessed in the whole world. I don’t think it could be topped.

-These are the only photos I have of Dad from Floyd’s baptism. He’s the one with the sunglasses, lol.-

Dad, wearing his sunglasses like ALWAYS. He didn’t want glaucoma.

Dad, wearing his sunglasses like ALWAYS. He didn’t want glaucoma.

Dad, just giggling at the sillyness without joining in.

Dad, just giggling at the sillyness without joining in.

Sunday, Char was baptized.
And Dad was there too.
Not physically, obviously, but he was present.
He was still smiling, beaming even, as Charleigh was baptized.

It was a beautiful and very painful day.

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Char was baptized at the church I attended from middle school, until I met Trey. The church Amy attended with Dad for the past 12 or so years. The church we had his funeral at.
The baptism was scheduled before he passed. My niece had cried multiple times leading up to Sunday because “he was supposed to be there”.
I think we all cried at least once during church Sunday. Because he was supposed to be there.
I could so vividly see him walking in just as church started, smiling and waving at us, sitting next to Amy, probably saying something to her and giggling. Then Mom would say something to him and they’d both laugh. Then he would just be beaming while she was get the idea.
His smile was so perfect and sweet. His laugh was SO wonderful. I don’t know that I can ever describe it well enough.
And as I realized none of that was happening or going to happen, I lost it and became a mess.

All in the midst of being so proud and happy for Charleigh that I could have just burst for her!

Life is cruel and beautiful.
A year ago, July 22nd, was one of the happiest days of my life.
Sunday was a hard and happy day.
Both baptisms of tiny members of our family.
Dad being at both, but only one physically, with his sweet smiling face and his warm hugs.

Cruel and beautiful.
Poetic and broken.

Hey Mommas!

Kimberly AkerComment