How to Quiet Negative Self-Talk!

Negativity, it sucks. It is the easy choice but when is the easy choice the good and beneficial choice? Really, never. Some think that yelling horribly mean things at yourself will push you to be better. But, that is complete crap. Saying mean and negative things to yourself, thinking it will push you further is one of the silliest things I have ever heard. I never understood that thinking, even as a kid. It seems along the same line of thinking as “men should never cry” and things like that. Very barbaric and not helpful to oneself at all! So, today I tell you how to quiet that mean voice inside your head. Because it is the reason you are not moving on to better things!



  • Your mind is an EXTREMELY powerful tool. I learned this from my Dad growing up. He was in the military (Navy Reserves to be specific and trained with Marines) and his yearly and monthly training (particularly the ones with the marines that were 2 weeks at a time) consisted of whatever you packed on your back and being in wilderness for 2 weeks. Obviously, his mindset had a lot to do with his survival. He couldn’t focus on how freezing or hot it was. He had to be positive and trick his body into freaking out a LOT less than I ever thought humanly possible. Your mind is POWERFUL guys!!!!

One more quick example: Panic Attacks. They are ALL in your head. But they can send you into such a tailspin that you think your death is happening now. And those who have lived with them long enough can learn to pull themselves out. Your mind is POWERFUL!!!

  • Losers say “I can’t”. Winners say “I will”. Ok, that was extremely cheesy. Like, cheddar cheese. Like, I am rolling my eyes at myself cheesy. Oh well. This is truth. I once said I couldn’t be a business owner. It was too hard and I didn’t know where to start and BLAH WAH whatever. Then, one day I knew I had to. Because the pull to not do nursing school and to DO photography full time was too strong. So, I switched my thinking and G.S.D. (you can look that acronym up) I made it happen. And, “Look At Me Now” (song by Chris Brown that I am currently obsessed with even though it is very old!) Seriously, this one is self explanatory.


  • Replace your horrible, mean, evil, negative, poopy thoughts with POSITIVE thoughts. I have done this my whole life and didn’t even know it until I heard someone give that advice. But, like, DUH!!! When I tell myself “Gosh, my stomach just is not perfect” I, first, remind myself that perfection does not exist and is subjective AND I tell myself “You are beautiful, you are incredible, you are loving, you are more than your body, and you are working hard towards being healthier in your daily life. And that is a lot of awesomeness. Take that devil in my head!!!” See, I just replaced evil with love, darkness with light. It is the basics of the Gospel, really.


  • Watch your words!!! This is a big one! Oh goodness. This one kinda ties in all the points into one really important, take home point. Try changing “I just suck at this task and will never succeed” to “Ok, that definitely wasn’t my best. How can I improve?” Do you hear the difference in the two? Gosh, the first is SO defeating, and the second is SO empowering!!! I used to have an incredible friend (that I miss dearly and wish I knew why we aren’t friends anymore) that would catch me saying super negative things about myself and make me change it. Like, I would say “OMG I suck” after I made any mistake and she would get so mad at me and tell me NO you don’t suck, you made 'A' mistake and you are human. I just tend to have this extremely “I’m sorry, don’t hate me, oh man, I suck” way about me with other people. I don’t want to upset them. So, I naturally put myself down. And that is EXTREMELY destructive. This friend was a huge part in me changing this behavior (totally not perfect at this but it has gotten SO much better) and, frankly, becoming a badass woman who knows, that’s right, knows she can take on anything. Because I watch what I say to myself.



I want you ladies to know I am NOT perfect at any of these things. These are things I have realized and that I am working on and probably will work on for forever. Because, I am human.
The world is full, FULL, of people that want to break you and tear you down. They want to say mean, horrible things to you. Don’t be one of those people. You need to love yourself in order to better yourself.

Ladies, I love you and I want you to love you too! Please don’t be mean to yourself. It seriously hurts my heart. You don’t know how much. I have cried thousands of times over women not loving and respecting themselves. I truly love you and want you to love you!

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